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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24576931">I Like How You Play</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordedly/pseuds/wordedly'>wordedly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Broken, Clueless Kageyama Tobio, Concerts, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heart, Hinata Shouyou Needs a Hug, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Karasuno, M/M, Marijuana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:46:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,593</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24576931</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordedly/pseuds/wordedly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Kageyama falls ridiculously in love with his roommate and doesn’t know what to do, apart from thinking that Hinata's eyes are the place where the shooting stars end up going.</p><p> </p><p>Or the College!AU in which Hinata hooked-up with everyone except from Kageyama that nobody asked for.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou &amp; Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Like How You Play</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>You can read this in spanish by clicking <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23792443">here</a><br/>There are mentions of sex and rape, but the scenes won't be described<br/>Pls let me know if there are grammar mistakes! It's 4 am and I don't know what i've written lol (probably i'll correct this tomorrow, idk)<br/>Hope you like this!<br/>At the beginning Kageyama is like the rudest person in the world, but he is a ray of sunshine :D</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>     <strong>Heliophilia: (n.) desire to stay in the sun; love of sunlight.</strong></em>
</p><p> </p><p>    Hinata Shouyou was like the sun, with a bright smile and amber eyes decorated with golden dots. Everyone who knew him was amazed by his way of being, how easy it was to talk to him, how comfortable he made you feel. He wasn't like other people, and in minute zero at his side you already realized that.</p><p>    When he and Kageyama met it was quite ridiculous actually. It was his first day at Karasuno University, he was receiving the tosses from a guy named Asahi, and one of them came with such force that he couldn't finish controlling it, the ball flew out just when another guy was entering through the door, and well , you can imagine the rest.</p><p>   It was definitely not a good start, even though Hinata apologized nor twice, but thrice, the boy didn't give in, literally growling at him when the redhead touched his arm.</p><p>    'What the hell are you doing touching me, you <em>fucking</em> idiot?' He roared. The atmosphere was silent. A gray-haired boy approached him, frowning slightly.    </p><p>    'Hey, you are Kageyama, aren't you?' he asked, he nodded because he really didn't know what to say. 'We've been told 'bout you, you are a fantastic setter, or so I've been told. I also play in that position.' Kageyama nodded again, he didn't usually speak unless it was extremely necessary or <em>an idiot decided to bother him</em>. 'But for a team to work well we need... you to be somewhat gentler, yeah? So as not to discourage the others.' He gave him a pretty but cautious smile. </p><p>    'I'm really sorry.' He heard the voice of the redhead whisper, and dammit, the vein oh his neck was pounding because of the fury, luckily he was only going to have to see him in practice because if he had to see him more often really, seriously, he would murder someone. Wasn’t it obvious enough that he didn’t want the redhead to talk to him? But he decided to nod, as usual, without looking at him, to see if he would finally leave him alone.  </p><p>    When Kageyama returned to his room he was surprised because he expected to see his roommate, he had arrived the day before to the campus and when he returned at lunchtime that day, all the other boy's stuff were already there, but no sign of his presence. That didn't really bother him and he decided to take a bath. When he had shitty days like that one, his response was to bathe, or play. Everything since he woke up went like shit, he had gotten up late, he hadn't drank his morning dose of coffee, he didn't show up to class on time, he didn't have enough lunch, an idiot hit him in the face and on top of all that, the night before his neighbors wouldn't stop arguing, leading him not being able to sleep, but where could he go? He was tempted to go knock on their door, but the idea of not getting along with those people and them deciding it was more fun to hit the wall all night long or whatever, instead of arguing, terrified him. When he got out of the shower, dressed in his pants but shirtless and drying his hair with a towel, he growled when he saw who was lying on the bed by the window</p><p>    'What are you doing here?' He murmured, trying to keep his shit together.</p><p>    'Kageyama-kun! Uhm... obviously we are roommates. I arrived at the campus today, because my classes started at 10am, you know? I thought that maybe I could stay a little longer at home.' He smiled at him big and bright. Kageyama wanted to erase that smile with a punch, but instead decided to roll his eyes. Hinata's smile trembled a little and his eyes revealed a bit of vulnerability. 'Did the <em>i-hit-you-with-a-ball thing</em> bother you so much? It wasn't on purpose, accidents happen, and more in volleyball, you should know that!' now he wasn't smiling anymore, he was frowning, but his face was so childish that Kageyama didn't really take it into account. He let out a sigh when he heard the neighbors arguing, <em>again.</em></p><p>    'Fuck, they <em>never</em> shut up.' He looked at the watch on his wrist and when he saw that it was dinner time, he grabbed his keys and left without saying goodbye to Hinata.    </p><p> </p><p>     When he returned, the redhead's bed was empty, but he he didn't care. The neighbours weren't arguing, but they were laughing and a voice he knew was heard. Throughout the day he had already rolled his eyes more times than expected thanks to <em>dumbass Hinata</em>, but rolling his eyes again wouldn't hurt him. How could he have gone to their room without looking like a nosy bastard? He took off his shirt, quickly put on his pants and went to bed, then started chatting with his sister, who asked him a billion questions, to which he replied dryly because he really didn't feel like chatting, he just wanted to sleep, taking advantage of the fact that there were no screams but soft laughter, which was definitely more bearable.</p><p>     When he said goodnight to his sister he turned and buried his face in the pillow, he decided to connect his headphones since there were noises that he didn't finish defining in the room next door, falling asleep in a few minutes.</p>
<hr/><p>    He was awoken by Hinata’s alarm and his soft movements, he heard him change and moan softly in something like discomfort, although Tobio refused to ask him what was wrong, maybe he had a hangover or something, but he wasn’t interested in knowing, although when he turned and opened his eyes a little bit he felt that his breath was stuck right in his throat, when he noticed that his roommates' little body was covered with bruises, quite similar to hickeys.<em> What the hell happened last night?</em></p><p>    'Hey, Kageyama?' asked the boy softly, Tobio remained silent, with his eyes closed. 'Uhm, I'm going to have breakfast, it's 7 o'clock, maybe you should kn... God, he's asleep and I don't know why I'm talking to him.' muttered to himself Hinata, and Kageyama almost opened his eyes, but decided not to, and the last thing he heard was the door being closed.      </p><p>     At that moment he started getting ready, he showered, calmly, he changed his clothes and finally he heard the door being opened again, Hinata appeared with a bag and a thermal cup, which he handed him without looking directly at him.</p><p>    'I really want us to get along, Kageyama-kun.' The black-haired didn't know what to answer, but he felt tenderness and bother in equal parts, why did this guy <em>needed</em> to be liked by everybody? He almost didn't accept the... gift?, but the smell of coffee and something similar to honey told him not to do so. He took it with a frown. 'It's coffee, I brought sugar because I didn't know how you drink it, and there are some honey toasts. I already had breakfast.'     </p><p>    'Where'd you go last night?' He asked, as he took a sip of the coffee and almost, <em>almost </em>, moaned with satisfaction.     </p><p>    'With the neighbors, they are very nice, I heard them arguing and I decided to go check if they needed help or something. They're called Bokuto and Kuroo.' Kageyama was silent, eating calmly, thinking that the redhead probably looked like this, all bruised, thanks to their neighbors, and he really didn't know what to do with that information. Hinata kept talking about nonsense. When it was ten minutes to eight he decided he had to head his way to class.     </p><p>    'We are not friends, okay?' Hinata nodded quickly, because there was something in Kageyama's voice that made him realize that he wasn't saying it in a bad way, although Hinata didn't finish determining in which way he said it either.     </p><p> </p><p>     The classes passed without inconveniences, that day had definitely started better than the day before, luckily. He could get used to being bought breakfast, even if his pride refused a little.</p><p>     When he was returning to his room he found Hinata in a hallway, in the middle of two guys taller than him, one with black hair and a tight red tank top and the other with yellow eyes and white hair. They were both slightly leaning against Hinata and the latter was biting his lower lip in a smile, he was blushed, although he looked like he was having a good time. Kageyama really had to keep walking but something stopped him, and he stayed where he was, away, and watched as the black-haired guy stroked Hinata's cheek and the other stroked his waist, and although he didn't hear him, he knew that Hinata sighed. That's when he started walking again, he had to continue his way. He passed in front of them and heard the redhead's voice, which sounded somewhat broken, calling his name, Kageyama really didn't want to approach them but he thought<em> it won't be that bad, and maybe he could stop the scene</em> (although why the hell did he care if Hinata did... things? It wasn't his fucking business)</p><p>    'Kageyama, these are Bokuto and Kuroo, our neighbors.' The amber-eyed boy presented, with a smile of red lips for having been bitten, Kageyama suddenly understood why those two were flirting with him, he was... pretty. He just nodded looking at each one and felt slightly self-conscious because of how goodlooking they were, the blue-eyed wasn't usually insecure, more than once he had been confessed, but these two were something... else. Their gazes were hungry and confident. He felt small. The one he assumed was Kuroo gave him a ladine smile.     </p><p>    'Pretty eyes, you should frown less, you know? We cannot admire them if you have an angry face.' Kageyama felt his cheeks turn pink and thought that the best thing to do was to nod and whisper goodbye and then leave. What the hell had that been? He decided to turn around and what he saw was a tiptoing Hinata kissing Bokuto while Kuroo put his hands under his shirt.</p><p> </p><p>     It wasn't the last time he saw Hinata with those guys, and they definitely weren't the only ones.</p>
<hr/><p>     Hinata really was amazing, he was flirtatious and sassy, with pink cheeks and golden eyes and so so pretty, but he never talked about private things, he always talked about the other, or trivial things. He and Kageyama had lived together for three months by then and Kageyama had seen him with more boys than the times the redhead said private things to him, or to anyone.</p><p>     It was like this: even though Hinata never spoke seriously, he said nice things to him and Kageyama really had to think: "he flirts with everybody, you know he sleeps with almost everyone" because if he didn't think about it, he was going to throw himself on top of him and kiss him with all his might. Hinata was flirty, cute and had a nice body. Kageyama definitely jerked off more than once thinking about his petite figure, dammit, it was his routine since he saw him being kissed in a hallway, legs tangled around another boy's waist, and he heard him <em>moan</em>. Later, he learned that the boy's name was Oikawa. </p><p> </p><p>     Kageyama wanted to get away from Hinata, but the bastard was like a magnet of laughter and sunshine and hair color of fire and freedom and so many things that Tobio no longer knew what to think. And he started playing the piano.</p><p>     He had brought his own (he had to sign some papers to put it in the room) but he hadn't played in the first month, and when he felt that if he didn't release his emotions he was going to explode in some way... he played, not caring that Kuroo and Bokuto were arguing next door, but he realized that when he started playing, they kept quiet, and when Hinata arrived and found him like that he didn't greet him, but got in the room and remained silent.</p><p>     After the second week he began to sit next to Kageyama.</p><p> </p><p>    'Why does it sound so sad?' He asked one day, and Kageyama thought: because I think of you and that you aren't real, and you are next to me but at the same time you are so far, far, away that I run out of air just thinking about chasing you. But he replied:   </p><p>     'Because the song is sad, dumbass.' And Hinata laughed, as always, with his laughter that dripped sweetness and softness and Kageyama felt a warmth inside him that always appeared when they were together and alone, although he knew it was all a show, because he heard Hinata cry at night in the bathroom, even if his sobs were soft, and it always broke his heart. Hinata laughed, but he was so, so sad, and Kageyama didn't know why.</p><p>     'I really like how you play, you have beautiful hands by the way. Is there something you can't do with them?' He asked, and although his tone was innocent Kageyama couldn't help thinking about the amount of things he would do to Hinata with just one finger if he had the chance, the image of a Hinata lying down, with closed eyes and long eyelashes caressing his cheeks went straight to his crotch.   </p><p>     'Where you coming from?' He asked, instead, to change the subject, although he already knew the answer. He looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was eleven p.m.   </p><p>      'From Ushijima's.' Kageyama swallowed with difficulty while thinking about that tall and big guy next to Hinata, God, he could break him. As much as the blue-eyed boy was used to finding Hinata kissing different guys almost every day, Hinata used to fuck the same 10, he wished he didn't know but if he wanted, he could make a calendar of what day would Hinata hook up with, and he wished that that didn't break his heart, but it did. Everything that had to do with Hinata broke his heart, soul, and spirit. At first Kageyama thought it was just a crush, something superficial, because the fucking idiot was beautiful and to see him with messy hair, a red mouth and a neck with marks was... too much for him, it made sense that his hormones appeared, you can't blame the guy! But while the dumbass brought breakfast, or accompanied him to class, or stroked his hair at night, sometimes, when he believed that Tobio was sleeping, it lead the blue-eyed boy to start seeing him with different eyes. But it was so fucking platonic that he couldn't believe it. He really couldn't believe it.   </p>
<hr/><p>     At that time he became friends with Sugawara, the gray-haired boy from volleyball practice, he was probably the only one who knew that Kageyama's heart was pounding all over his body because of the stupid redhead.</p><p>     'Do you like Hinata?' He asked one day, and even though Tobio blushed, he nodded softly because Suga was his friend and he honestly didn't want to lie to him when the other looked at him with kind eyes and that summer smile that reminded him of his mother and his home. 'for how long?'    </p><p>     'Ugh, two months? I think. I'm not going to do anything anyway, he definitely doesn't feel anything for me, and even if he did I'm not interested in having to share and he doesn't seem to be about to give up his habit of... spending time with different people.' Suga let out a soft laugh like him, and stroked Kageyama's hair.   </p><p>     'Oh, Kageyama-chan. What are you going to do about it? Hinata looks at you, you know? He really looks at you, which is the difference from you and the others, you never realized it?' Tobio frowned because he didn't understand, and if it was what he thought he understood... God, no. It wasn't possible, it wasn't possible when Hinata definitely had masculine guys like Ushijima or Koganegawa, or cute with catsmiles like Kuro, or funny like Bokuto, or just beautiful like Utsumu Miya, it really didn't cross his mind that Hinata could feel something, or look at him differently, as Sugawara said, when all he had to offer were... sad songs on the piano and setting his ball in volleyball. Sugawara looked at him and seemed to realize where his thoughts were going because his eyes were tinged with something close to pity but without really being that, Suga looked at him as if he felt pain for him. Kageyama's chest imprisoned a pounding soul in need of love, Hinata's love, no more and no less. He looked at the ground, feeling suddenly vulnerable, as if his heart was beating too loud and could be heard throughout the park, so loud that it reached infinity. 'It isn't wrong <em>feeling</em>, you know? What's wrong is doing nothing about it.' And he hugged him, and Kageyama clung into that hug as if his life depended on it, and at that moment it really felt that way because something he believed that only happened to young children was happening to him, and suddenly his eyes were not only the color of the ocean but they had also become rivers, and he really, really didn't want to break, but Suga whispered that everything was going to be fine and he just squeezed him a little closer, and he never wanted so badly to be young again so he could be hugged like this by his mother without looking like a coward.</p><p> </p><p>     'I'm scared.' he whispered in a broken voice.   </p><p>     'Kageyama-chan... who is brave, is <em>free</em>.'  </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>     A few weeks had passed since that episode, now Kageyama had more friends (from Suga, but friends at least) and he got along better with those of the team. He was still playing music on the piano but he was willing to forget Hinata, because seriously, seriously, seriously, he wanted to be happy.</p><p>     Anyways, that night they went to a concert, the boys were carrying weed and were relaxed. Hinata had canceled the hook up of the day to go to the concert. Kageyama felt something warm like lava bubbling up in his chest, although he was aware that Shouyou hadn't canceled it for him, but... well. <em>Take it easy, breathe, </em>he thought. The concert was in the open air, in fields of eternal grass, the sky was full of stars and as summer approached, it was full of fireflies. </p><p>     Already sitting on the grass, they decided to roll the joints, the only ones who didn't smoke were Asahi and Kiyoko, one of the girls in the group. Already in the third joint that they smoked they couldn't stop laughing, the music reached them from afar, people dancing, shouting and jumping. The lights were neon and made shadows on the faces. The air was cool. Kageyama suddenly felt a weight on his shoulder and he felt startled, when he turned he saw that it was Hinata, with closed eyes and a very soft smile. The dark-haired boy felt his hands tremble, but he couldn't move. And when the redhead looked at him through thick lashes, and red eyes from the effects, almost as if he were sleepy, Tobio thought:</p><p>
  <em>     I love you so ridiculously much.</em>
</p><p>     Hinata was maybe psychic because he smiled a little more, his eyes sparkling and Kageyama could swear that he felt like it was daylight, like the sun was there just because of him, because Shouyou was looking at him. He was really looking at Tobio. The redhead grabed his hand and brought it to his mouth, brushing his knuckles with his lips, with a care that the blue-eyed boy felt so, so magical, thinking that people fell in love with the confidence of feeling something, but probably nobody could ever feel this. As if they were invincible and had the world singing a lullaby of lips and stars and fireflies. He was so stoned and Hinata seemed to be even more so. Then he saw in the distance a figure he recognized, and Hinata's eyes stopped looking like amber and comparable to gold. He pulled his hand away and pulled himself away, because fucking Kuroo was here, with Bokuto and the one with Chesire cat complexes was smirking at him, as if he knew, as if he had something Kageyama hadn't. Kageyama wasn't going to fight for the redhead, because Hinata... Hinata was smoke and bruises on his neck and red lips kissed by more mouths than the number of friends Tobio had, and he really didn't want to compete. He competed for the things he could achieve, for the real goals, and Shouyou was a damn human, not an award and although the blue-eyed died because of his will, although he would give his soul and everything that made him human for a kiss from Shouyou, a real kiss, not one of those that he gave away to the highest bidder, he wasn't going to compete. Because for once he wanted it to be easy, he wanted to be chosen without hesitation. Someone that trusted him and didn't turn their back on him. Kageyama was so sick of it, and he was mad as shit. He stood up abruptly, although his body trembled because, God, he was stoned like few times in his life, but although he wasn't going to fight for Shouyou, he really wanted to punch someone, because Kuro, as much as Bokuto, didn't have Shouyou in a real way, they didn't hear him sob at night, nor did they have to face a bright-eyed Hinata not because of the light of his gaze, but because of the tears. They didn't have to hug him and feel him by his side in his most vulnerable and broken way, at the same time feeling unattainable. And he was so in love with Hinata that his body ached.</p><p>     They all smiled cheerfully when they saw the boys, but were silent when they saw Kageyama approaching them with the most angry face he ever had. Kuro wasn't smiling, he was looking at him with something similar to grief and when the blue-eyed boy raised his fist, totally ready to hit him, the other grabbed him and approached his ear.</p><p>     'I know you like Hinata, you should do something about it. I'm not on this game anymore, I like someone. Bokuto also retires, we come to tell Chibi-chan, then we'll leave.' He stepped back and analyzed Tobio's expression, who simply nodded. </p><p>     'Chibi-chan!' The yellow-eyed exclaimed when he saw that everything calmed down. Hinata smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes.  </p><p>     'Hey! I'm very stoned.' Bokuto laughed and sat next to him, and started telling him about a boy, and Kageyama shouldn't have relaxed as much as he did but when Kuroo approached Hinata and started talking about someone named Kenma, he felt peace. After a while they left and Shouyou again stuck to Tobio's side, and Tobio did nothing to push him away. </p>
<hr/><p>     When Tobio said that listening to Shouyou cry was a tragedy, he wasn't lying, or at least that's how he saw it. It always happened around two in the morning, and he had already learned what days the redhead was going to cry, not by calendar, but because of his laugh and his eyes. His laugh used to be sparkling, the kind that bubble up in your chest and you really had to make an effort not to laugh at his side. His pupils caught fairy dust. Kageyama used to blush just thinking about it. But when Hinata arrived at the room, with his eyes a little more opaque and the laughter less bright, the blue-eyed boy knew that there was going to be some crying that night, that only the bathroom walls, his pillow and the redhead were going to be witnesses of, and he, who really didn't know what to do with the emotions of others, stayed there, trembling, not because of cold, but because he contained something that he didn't know what it was. Maybe the smaller didn't want him to interrupt him? He was hiding for something. He cried at the time he cried for a reason, Hinata definitely didn't want to be seen. But that February night, it was different. And with the smallest steps Kageyama ever took, he went to the bathroom door and opened it, without knocking, because if he knocked Hinata maybe was going to put on that porcelain mask with a smile, and he didn't want that. </p><p>     What he found was a small Hinata in the bathtub, with shivering shoulders, covered in a cream sweater, and orange hair that hid a childish face. And even though he was scared (without knowing exactly why), Kageyama approached and stroked his hair. </p><p>     'Hinata, what's wrong?' He asked in a whisper, the other looked up quickly, wincing. His nose was red, as were his cheeks, but it wasn't a blush of shame, but a blush of force not to sob. His eyes seemed disoriented and reflected the moonlight streaming through the window. Kageyama felt his soul escape from his body as he knelt down and kissed his temple, because in reality he didn't know what to do and that was what his mother did when he was sad. The redhead let out a shaky breath, while pouting, he opened his arms and Tobio looked at the bathtub and sighed, not out of irritation, but because he wished it was a little bigger, but even so, even though he knew he was going to be uncomfortable and cold, he got up and then got into the bathtub behind Hinata, his legs spread and pressing against the sides, his knees hurt, but the amber-eyed boy leaned back on his chest carefully and continued to sob, while hiding his face between the shoulder and the neck of the black-haired one. And although everything hurt, Tobio would have done nothing to change the situation (well, nothing apart from crying Hinata). He decided to move his arm into the tight space and pat the orange hair, gaining a purr from the other. After a few minutes Hinata calmed down. </p><p>     'Nobody loves me.' He murmured, and it sounded so delicate that the blue-eyed boy was sure that the other one didn't plan to be heard. Kageyama felt that he was dying, because he was so in love that he couldn't understand why Hinata would say something like that, but as much as he wanted to confess himself right there, he knew that it was not the right time, and even if it was, he he was not brave enough, so he replied: </p><p>     'Why do you say that?' he asked, and his voice sounded softer and lower than expected. </p><p>     'My mom... My mom doesn't call me.' His voice hung on a trembling thread, Tobio didn't say a thing, waiting. 'I ca-came out of the closet last spring, before I came, I decided to do it right then in case she didn't...' hhe swallowed, trying to undo the lump in his throat. 'she didn't accept me, which ended up happening.' He gave an empty laugh, as if trying to downplay it, but, like his voice, came out weak. 'And she hasn't called me since, since April from last year, and since my sister is very young, she doesn't have a cell phone and she doesn't know my number and I miss her. I miss my family.' Kageyama felt his neck begin to get wet. <em>Tears</em>. His chest began to fill with an aggressive feeling, but he said nothing, because something inside him told him that Shouyou wanted to say more. All he did was squeeze him a little closer. 'I had never had a boyfriend, you know? Until an English boy came to my highschool, his name was James.' he was crying again. 'and he... raped me? I think. We always got to that point and then I regretted it and I guess he got tired, it's my fault anyway.' he sobbed 'And he only called me to do that and it took a while for me to stop being afraid of being touched, but I realized that guys don't love me. They want to... fuck, but when it's time to be with someone, they throw me aside and it feels so bad. It hurts here.' He pointed to his chest. 'But I learned to have a good time with that, the- hook ups, I mean. Although sometimes I don't feel like it but I do it just anyways, because... well, maybe they are going to get mad? I don't know.' the silence of Kageyama made him feel self-conscious, when he realized that he spoke a little too much. 'Sorry.'</p><p>     Kageyama hugged him, it was a ridiculous and painful position and Hinata's elbows were buried in his ribs, but he hugged him like he never hugged anyone and he did something that he hoped would calm Hinata, because Shouyou was crying and the sky was perhaps clear and there were no clouds, but in that bathroom the rain was in Hinata's eyes. He was so angry about the things that happened to him, he couldn't believe how someone could be able to hurt him. He was going to kill someone, literally. He decided, for the moment, that he wouldn't kill anyone and would try not to make a big deal out of it since Shouyou was hiding in his arms and because of the situation, if he got mad, the dumbass would think he was mad at him when, actually, he was mad at the world. He decided he was going to do something else his mother did when he was sad: he started singing to Hinata, his low voice echoing on the walls.  </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Do you ever lie</em><br/>
<em>awake at night?</em><br/>
<em>Just between the dark</em><br/>
<em>and the morning light,</em><br/>
<em>searching for the things</em><br/>
<em>you used to know.</em><br/>
<em>Looking for the place</em><br/>
<em>where the lost things go</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Do you ever dream</em><br/>
<em>or reminisce?</em><br/>
<em>Wondering where to find</em><br/>
<em>what you truly miss,</em><br/>
<em>well maybe all those things</em><br/>
<em>that you love so</em><br/>
<em>are waiting in the place</em><br/>
<em>where the lost things go</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Memories you've shed</em><br/>
<em>gone for good you feared.</em><br/>
<em>They're all around you still</em><br/>
<em>though they've disappeared</em><br/>
<em>nothing's really left</em><br/>
<em>or lost without a trace.</em><br/>
<em>Nothing's gone forever</em><br/>
<em>only out of place.</em>
</p><p>     Hinata breathed slowly, listening. Kageyama intoned as best he could, embarrassment making it a bit difficult, but he continued because Hinata didn't laugh, but didn't cry either, and that was good. </p><p>
  <em>So when you need her touch</em><br/>
<em>and loving gaze.</em><br/>
<em>Gone but not forgotten</em><br/>
<em>is the perfect phrase.</em><br/>
<em>Smiling from a star</em><br/>
<em>that she makes glow.</em><br/>
<em>Trust she's always there</em><br/>
<em>watching as you grow,</em><br/>
<em>find her in the place</em><br/>
<em>where the lost things go.</em>
</p><p>     'You know I'm not good with... people, and talking. But, your mother... is your mother. I know that "give her some time" sounds stupid, considering that almost a year has passed, but as soon as you realize it, she will be hugging you, I know it, because you deserve it. You deserve her love, and you deserve the love of all the boys on this planet, you have no idea how much love you deserve... Shouyou. You deserve to be happy and sleep with the people you want without feeling obligated, and you definitely deserve to be treated well, not only to hook up. If someday we meet James and you point him out to me... I'll kill him, seriously. You are one of the most wonderful and fascinating people I've ever known, and nothing, listen to me, nothing that happened to you was your fault,' he murmured. Hinata didn't reply, just snuggled a little closer against him. 'I love you dumbass.' he said, his heart and soul in his voice.</p><p>     'I love you too, Tobio.'</p>
<hr/><p>     From that day on, things were different. Kageyama knew that Hinata received calls, as well as messages, but the amber-eyed boy used to spend his recesses by Kageyama's side and when it was dinnertime he invited him to eat at the campus cafe. The hickeys that decorated his body started to fade, and the black-haired boy felt calm.</p><p>     'Tobio!' He called him one day, oh, they also started calling each other by their first names. 'You do better in economics, will you help me?' He smiled brightly, as always. Kageyama nodded and sat next to him. He began to explain in a soft voice until he was silent because he felt a look piercing his face. </p><p>     'What?' He asked in a bad tone, and the redhead laughed. </p><p>     'You are cute.' Kageyama blushed a little and rolled his eyes. </p><p>     'Dumbass.'</p><p>     'Seriously! You are the cutest boy on the campus, my friends always ask me if you are single.' Hinata smiled catching his lower lip and the dark-haired wanted to kiss him <em>so badly.</em>  </p><p>     'And what do you say to them?' </p><p>     'Hm... no.' </p><p>     'Oh yeah? Why?' Hinata stopped looking at him and watched his hands as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. Tobio didn't insist because he didn't understand his reaction and continued with economics. </p>
<hr/><p>     Like that conversation, there were many more. But one afternoon something finally happened. They were at the gym, Nishinoya jumped on Kageyama, laughing and Tobio smiled a little, although he wasn't a fan of physical contact. The last thing he heard was a door slam. Nishinoya looked at him confused and Kageyama released him.</p><p>     Suga looked at him as if he had realized something and said:</p><p>     'It was Hinata, Kageyama-chan, why don't you go and check on him?' He nodded, not understanding (as usual). He started running, if he knew the stupid redhead Hinata would probably be running like in the movies. </p><p> </p><p>     He saw his orange hair in the distance and knew he was going to the their room. Throughout that almost year the room became very cozy, with posters, framed photos, libraries with their books (of the subjects, they would never read something if they didn't have to, God) Hinata candles and the truth is that, to be a college room, it was very similar to the word home. When he arrived and opened the door, he found Hinata lying down, his face buried in his pillow. He closed the door gently and sat on the redhead's bed.</p><p>     'Dumbass, what's going on?' His voice sounded calmer than ever, Hinata turned and the tears that ran down his face looked like diamonds. Kageyama reached out his hand to wipe them away. Shouyou just looked at him. </p><p>     'I'm in love with you.' </p><p><em>     What? </em>Kageyama stayed still, believing that maybe he imagined it because this boy he knew ten months ago, his first love and all those things, was saying that... what? </p><p>     'How?' His voice sounded shaky, and Shouyou sobbed again. </p><p>     'I know you don't see me that way! But I couldn't help it, Tobio. Sometimes I don't understand. Everything seems distant. My pulse is slow, very slow, and my heart beats so hard that it threatens to break my ribs and go out into the world, no matter how hard I try to catch it. I wish I hadn't fallen in love, but I did. I fall in love with the world when I go out and I'm by your side, I fall in love with the cherry trees, with volleyball, I fall in love with Karasuno. I fell in love with you and how everything seems to be brighter because you are looking at it. I fell in love with your ocean eyes, your lashes, your nose. I fell in love with your stupid frowning face, with your smiles that are so  soft that they seem like a brushstroke in a work of art worth millions.' Hinata knew that he sounded like a poet but he needed to describe Kageyama the way he saw him.  'I fell in love with your hands, which despite being fantastic for volleyball, are wonderful playing the piano. And I fell in love with the sound of your playing, that when you play, Bokuto and Kuroo who usually argue remain silent, and your music echoes on the walls, so sad that it stains everything in its path, and when you play, your face relaxes, and I'm in love with you, probably ever since I've met you and hit you with the ball. And even though I had all the boys behind me... It was because I felt lonely and empty and I know that I'm unlovable, but I needed to feel that they loved me somehow, and then you came with your stupid angry face and... I am in love with you, did I say it already? Because I am and it's stupid because I already know that you aren't in love with me. </p><p>     'Shouyou...' he murmured, and leaned down to kiss Hinata's lips, which tasted of salt and light. The redhead was static but began to follow the kiss with the same gentleness. He hugged him. He needed him closer, he felt that if he released him he would fly away. He kissed him with so much care and love that Hinata felt different, he had never been kissed like that, as if he were more than a body, and suddenly he wanted to cry but because of happiness. They kissed for what could have been seconds, minutes, or hours, close both bodies and souls. It was different, it was beautiful. 'I... uhm, I'm also in love with you, for the record. I didn't do anything because of the other boys and that, I thought that if you were interested in me maybe you would have done something, and you know that I can barely speak, dumbass!' Hinata looked at him and cradled his face in his hands, his cheeks warm from the shame of knowing that he had slept with everybody when Kageyama... felt the same way as him.  </p><p>     'Sorry.'</p><p>     'Don't apologize, it's your body, your decision.' Kageyama whispered. </p><p>     'Does this mean we are dating?' Hinata asked after a while, his voice sounding vulnerable. </p><p>     'If that's what you want, yeah. Sure.' Hinata smiled, and his eyes sparkled, Kageyama thought that the shooting stars were not really that brief, but that they ended up landing on Shouyou’s pupils.</p><p>     'Thank you.' </p><p>     That night they talked for hours, and there were many tears in between. Shouyou felt that Tobio had an invisible thread and an intangible needle, sewing up the internal wounds in his heart. At dawn he whispered gratefully against the chest of the other so many things that he didn't know when he started or when he ended. Kageyama stroked his hair all that time, and before they knew it, it was time to go to class and they decided to miss that day. At one point Kageyama got up and Shouyou looked at him curiously and smiled when he saw the taller boy approaching his bed and putting it next to Hinata's to form something similar to a twin bed. Then he hugged him from behind and Hinata tangled his legs with Tobio's. He felt him sigh against the nape of his neck and then taking his hands, to squeeze them gently. He felt loved.</p><p>     Everything was fine, outside the sky was pink and purple, the stars were fading. It was a beautiful summer day.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>wellllllllll, I hope you liked it! :D<br/>the song is "the place where lost things go" from mary poppins returns<br/>if you shipp tododeku (from bnha) you can read my longfic <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24182878/chapters/58245406">here</a><br/>and if you need help, (or a friend) you can send me a message on <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/brighttearsss">tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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